Laxmi came in and began to cry and scream. It was quite frightening. Laxmi was vengeful, angry, and upset, and she was looking for an outlet to pour out her pain and frustration. I noticed she still had her office name tag hanging on her neck. She was an IT professional and had been married for just over a year. I waited for the sun to rise, and at 6:00am, I went to meet her husband. The scene I witnessed shocked me. The home looked devastated with everything strewn about. Kitchen utensils, pots, broken glasses, torn saris, broken telephone…. in short, it looked ravaged by an earthquake with their home as the epicenter. In spite of high education and good salaries they couldn’t handle their differences and easily resorted to abuse and destruction.
Our response to situations depends on our belief system and convictions. When God created both male and female, he created them with equal status, equal worth and equal dignity. They are created in his image and hence it calls for us to treat one another with dignity and worth as we are dealing with a person who is a reflection of God himself. To raise ones hand against another is inhuman and a violation of God’s design and plan for marriage.
At a family seminar we conducted, a senior manager shared publicly with his colleagues what he believes is the secret of his marriage of 25 years. He recollected some advice from a colleague in the early years of marriage. His colleague had encouraged him to treat his wife with dignity and respect as she has sacrificially left her home and her family to be part of his life. To treat her as a guest with love and care, as he has to give account to God one day for the way he treated his spouse. A profound belief system that has helped this gentleman to enjoy and cherish his marriage for the last 25 years!
To have a higher belief system based on the absolute standards of the Designer of marriage is important. Yes, frustrations and anger can come up in human relationships, but to have strong boundaries based on a strong foundation is the way out to have a strong marriage.
In times of uncontrolled anger, a simple mantra is to shoot a prayer to God and ask for His help to help you overcome this situation. Anger for the right thing is good and a good emotion given by God. The Bible says, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Yes, don’t give the devil a foot- hold as he will surely make it a strong hold.
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