How was your day today?
Chances are you would say, ‘busy’! And there is an even higher probability that your child has had an equally busy day. Between school, and classes, and homework and scheduled play dates, their days are usually overflowing with planned activities. The day goes by, buzzing with activities and before we know it’s time to start again. Of course the world that we live in is rather competitive. Children today are achieving more than what we did when we were their age.
With social pressure, most of us are struggling between classes to ensure our kids gain all the skills needed to survive adulthood, like learning a sport, self-defense, singing and playing an instrument, learning phonetic pronunciations and math problem solving skills. The list of what all our children need to know to fit in and to excel is unending and rather daunting. Some of us would emphatically point out that these classes are necessary for all round development. The world is progressing at an alarming speed, and it’s important to stay in tune with all that is going on. True that.
Yet at the same time, what about free play time, and don’t children deserve time to be children? While learning skills is of paramount importance, isn’t it also important to maintain a balance? Till a few decades back, when we grew up, before the planned activities took up most of the time, our days stretched out before us as we climbed trees, made pretend campfires, went looking for treasures in the mud and played hide and seek all day long. The over stimulated child of today, has no exposure to free time, and so obviously has no idea what to do when he/ she doesn’t have a so called ‘plan’.
And that is where the, ‘I’m bored’, comes from. While most of us were not even familiar with the concept of boredom, the children today take no time to point out that they have nothing to do. And we as parents are quick to the rescue. The word ‘bored’ has a negative connotation, while the word ‘free’ doesn’t exist in the dictionary of children anymore. What most of us seem to have overlooked is that only when a mind is free can a child explore and grow mentally. And all round development encompasses a lot more than skills that can be learnt through sessions and classes.
To be an emotionally capable adult, a child needs to have the freedom to develop interpersonal relationships. They need to experiment with feelings to learn about them. They need to run around and get dirty to understand the basics of cause and effect and garner the ability to take responsibility for their decisions. Free time isn’t really just free time, but a lot more. For children free time is when the mind works, when the emotions are explored, when the balance required to be a mature adult is achieved. That said, in the present scenario where children have easy access to entertaining gadgets as well, it isn’t easy to just break free and teach a child to make most of their free time. We as parents have to set the right example. But how do we do that? It’s a two-step process:
- Firstly, take out time to be free. Yes, exactly that. Put the phone aside, switch off the TV, look around, lounge on the couch, stop any activity that counts as work.
- Next, learn to enjoy your free time. Have a meaningless conversation with your child, read a book together, giggle for a bit, go for a walk. Whatever you decide to do, give it your 100 per cent. Remember, your child is watching you.
Once that is established, and you have freed up some time in your child’s day to get ‘bored’, how could you teach your child to make the most of it? Now here, we as parents need to understand that while our child might need some direction to figure out what to do, it is not our responsibility to jump in and entertain them. Don’t plan a play date or switch on the TV as soon as you hear that your child is bored. Point out that it’s okay to be bored and they just need to find something to do.
Hand them some sheets of paper with crayons, or take them for a walk. This would help in providing the stimulation to explore something or create something. At the same time, try to figure out if the boredom stems from just a need for your attention. In most situations if that is the case, all that child needs is a few minutes of focused attention from the parent. Sometimes children just need some time to find something that interests them. If we jump in with suggestions too soon, we don’t really give them the opportunity to think for themselves.
And as children think, they learn to give direction to their thoughts and identify what holds their interest and what doesn’t. For all you know, what profession they choose, or what hobbies they pursue, might stem from these few hours of free time. So the next time you hear the kids say, ‘I’m bored’, silently pat yourself on the back for providing them the opportunity to grow, take a deep breath and tell them that you are thrilled to hear that!
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